A Funny Story About a Man and His Ex-wife

Well I woke up extra early this morning, I have to head out the door very soon for a seminar that my son and I are doing.  Hey listen, if you happen to  be an employee at Hackensack University Medical Center (HUMC) take a break and come visit me in the auditorium.  We are doing a workshop at 11:30 AM on how to look 10 years younger naturally.

I really must share with all of you a very funny story.  Last week I found myself talking with a nice gentleman after his biometric screening.  This gentleman sat down with me so that we could discuss his numbers.  I told him that all of his numbers were great but that I thought that his blood pressure was a little high for his age.  He stated that he had battled high blood pressure numbers for several years.

I said, “I think I may be able to help you.”

He said, “What are you going to do, kill my ex-wife?”

Of course I laughed, it was quite unexpected and very funny.  I went on to explain to him that three cups of hibiscus tea per day may help to lower his blood pressure.  He then asked me if what he was doing for breakfast was OK.  I asked, “What are you eating for breakfast?”

He stated, “Oatmeal.”

I said, “Fantastic!  I’m hoping it’s regular and not instant.”

He said, “It is instant, but don’t worry, it’s not the flavored kind.”

I said to him, “I must admit it has been many years since I have looked at the ingredients on the unflavored, instant oatmeal; you might be OK.  Just so we are sure, can you please run out to the floor and grab a box so that we can both check it out?”

Of course now everyone in the room is curious so they have stopped to listen.  He came back quickly with the box and I asked him to please read me the ingredients.  The third or fourth ingredient was caramel color.  Quite an obnoxious poison for those of you who have not yet read the blog on caramel color.  I shared this very important information with this lovely gentleman and he immediately stated, “You may actually end up helping me with my blood pressure after all.  I am going to stop eating it immediately but I am going to have large boxes of instant oatmeal delivered to my ex-wife.”

This story was really funny and I had to share it with all of you.  Mind you I did ask this gentleman not to send huge boxes of instant oatmeal to his ex-wife.  Hopefully by now I have sufficiently scared you about instant oatmeal.  I will tell you as I do each and every person I meet with, make a large pot of oatmeal on your day off, but do whatever you can to eat regular oatmeal and not instant.  Remember folks, caramel color is not what your grandmother used to make.  It is a chemical that is made to look, taste and act like caramel.

As I promised my oatmeal recipe to many people over the last several weeks, below you will find my own personal breakfast, after of course I have had four eggs early in the AM.  Without further ado here is what I like to call the fountain of youth breakfast…tropical oatmeal.

Fountain of Youth Tropical Oatmeal

Ingredients (measurements are entirely up to you):

  • Steel cut oats cooked in water (per package directions)
  • Coconut oil
  • Cinnamon
  • Maple syrup or organic honey
  • Chia seeds
  • Chopped apple
  • Sliced banana
  • Chopped mango
  • Blueberries
  • Raw walnuts
  • Raw sunflower seeds

I specifically did not give you measurements since I basically make a bucket load for myself.  I love oatmeal and I eat an enormous amount every day.  In fact, I have found with this recipe that I get a lot of key superfoods in one meal.  I recommend people eat a teaspoon of coconut oil every day and guess what folks, I put it into my oatmeal and it actually imparts coconut flavor into the oatmeal.  At the same time it provides me with the incredible benefits of coconut oil.

So here’s what I do and it is just a suggestion, you can of course make up your own.  I cook the oatmeal and while it is cooking I gather all of my fruit; slice it, chop it and put it into a large bowl.  I add the nuts and sunflower seeds and set it aside.  When the oatmeal is finished cooking I remove it from the heat and immediately add organic maple syrup, coconut oil, cinnamon and chia seeds.  That gets poured over my fruit and nuts and I toss it all together.  Some people thinks this serves four, alas it serves only me.   Try it, it is sure to please you too.

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