Happiness is… Staying Positive

As many of you know, I love top ten lists. Who doesn’t? They’re quick, to the point and it’s great to get the summary of a perspective in ten bullets. Making your own top ten lists about just about anything call really help to prioritize your thoughts. I have decided that all this week I will be making top ten lists on a variety of subjects from happiness to love to being beach and bikini ready! Keep in mind, these are completely subjective lists entirely comprised of my own personal opinions and priorities and they may be different from your own, but in case you would like my opinion on any of these topics, well now you’ll have them. Making top ten lists is a great way to visualize what is important to you. Expressing your priorities will always help in actualizing them. So, please, enjoy the ones I will be making for you this week, but by all means take time to make your own.

Today let’s take a peek at the soul with my top ten list of how to find happiness:

1. Find your purpose: We were all put on this planet for a reason. We all have individual skills that we excel in. Too often we concentrate on what we cannot do, or our limits. To find your purpose pay no attention to your limitations and focus only on what you do well. Everyone is the best at a very specific thing. Find that thing and do it! Plus, if you ignore what you see as your limitations you might just find that they start to disappear.
2. Have Faith! Spend time reading the Bible. Believe that God has a plan for you in mind. The daily struggles and difficulties will seem less consequential if you look at them as all being stones in the path God has made for you.
3. Avoid negativity: This is a sensitive subject and I know it, but I do believe that in order to be ultimately happy you need to remove negativity from your life in the forms of situations and people. This is not to say that if a is struggling with something heavy that you should avoid them. I simply mean that we should steer clear of the people in our lives who choose negativity as a way of life. We should avoid the places and social situations that breed negative energy. If you have friends who are hurting, however, bring positivity, hope and strength to them.
4. Be Grateful: Count your blessings! That’s right. Focus less on what you want and more on what you have. Everyone has so many things to be grateful for. Life itself is a gift and every day is a reason to rejoice. Look around you at family, friends and experiences and you will find so much to be thankful for. Try to write down, or at least count off five or ten things to be grateful for every night before bed, and look at that list or remember them in the morning!
5. Exercise: In other words- dance as much as you can! It is true that exercise makes us happier people and I can think of no exercise that makes me quite so happy as dancing. Go out dancing with friends or your partner. Blast the music and dance at home in your kitchen while you’re cleaning or cooking. Dance down the aisle at the grocery store if you hear a good song! Find time to exercise daily, and find time to dance.
6. Spend time with the people you love: So often we spread ourselves too thin only to realize at the end of the week or month that we didn’t have any quality time with our closest friends or family. Make sure to include your loved ones in your life as often as possible. Be sure to make time just to be around them.
7. Give! Be as generous as possible. I cannot stress enough how much more satisfaction can come from generosity than from selfishness. It is truly more blessed to give than to receive. Whatever you can and whenever you can give out.
8. Avoid the news! No, don’t choose to be ignorant, rather gather information from a quality, reliable source once or twice a week and walk away. Read the Sunday paper, but don’t have the news on in the background while you’re doing chores! The news (particularly radio and television news) is written in a way that alarms and frightens. It repeats itself too, which can really drum negativity into your brain.
9. Keep uplifting music on throughout the day. What is uplifting music? The music that would inspire you to break into dancing or singing along. What are my favorites? I’ll tell you! Michael Buble (the classics), Barbara Streisand, and John Mayer (to name just a few.)
10. Lastly, continue to work your mind, body and soul through constant improvement! Read, learn a new language or  instrument, take dance or pilates classes, search out enlightened and uplifting people, cultures and sub-cultures. Be a joiner! Join a study group or attend church services and events. Get involved in your community! Just keep doing! This is not to say occupy every corner of your mind. No, of course you need alone time and time for reflection, but really, and truly people who busy themselves with productive and meaningful things are happier.

So there you go, top ten list number one! This, as I said before, is simply my opinion, but in my opinion it all works. I have to share with you that I am a very happy person and that happiness is not bought or borrowed, it is mine because of these things. So, stay active, stay busy and stay positive and full of faith and hope, and I think you’ll find you’ll also stay happy.

 

 

David and Goliath (How to Deal With Giants Such as Fear and Anxiety)

I know that most of you know the story of David and Goliath. It is a commonly told tale. Most of the time it is told as a lesson in miracles. I would not dare to disagree that there is a mighty lesson about miracles in there, but when I read the story I look at it as a story of faith and courage and as a direct answer to our most common anxieties. Read on and see if you agree.

There was a great threat to the Israelites as Palestine, the neighboring country (as I’m sure most of you know) was preparing to attack with their powerful army. To prove to the Israelites how little a threat they posed to Palestine, the Palestinians sent out their greatest warrior, Goliath, to propose a challenge. Goliath who was a skilled fighter and almost 10 feet tall announced to the Israeli army that he would begin and end the war in one fight. If they sent out one man out to fight him and that man managed to defeat and kill him, Palestine would surrender immediately. Now, you can imagine that Goliath must have been rather sure of himself and for good reason in order to wager that high. The proposition was indeed frightening to the Israelites who knew that no man was a match for this giant. Now it happened that in the Israeli army were three men, great soldiers, who were the oldest of 8 sons of an old man and farm owner named Jesse. Jesse’s youngest son, David, took care of the farm’s sheep and goats and served as a messenger to his older brothers at the front lines of battle. The day of Goliath’s proposal, Jesse had sent David off to deliver provisions from the farm to the men preparing for war. Upon hearing the news of Goliath’s proposed deal, David inquired what was to be done for the man who slew the giant. The reward was to be great- marriage to the king’s daughter and a place in the palace. While David was talking to the soldiers his brothers confronted him telling him to go home and tend to his sheep. They were annoyed by his inquisitions thinking he was simply caught up in the drama of the events and making light of the clear and present dangers that were to befall the army and nation. At this, David quickly volunteered. He went to the king who tried to dissuade him as he was only a boy, probably no more than 16 years old. David argued saying that he had protected his sheep bare handed from lions and bears. He knew that God’s plan did not involve his failure. When it was clear that he would not be able to change David’s mind the king did his best to dress David in all the best armor and arm him with his best sword. After trying to walk around in the get up, David took it off saying that he simply could not move or be comfortable in any of it. I imagine it like a teenager trying on a stiff collar, suit and dress shoes and just feeling claustrophobic in it all. So off David went with no sword or armor. He stood before the giant with only a few stones and a homemade sling. When Goliath saw him he was almost offended at what the opposing army had sent him to fight. Still, he charged at David, but the quick  boy loaded his sling with a stone and took aim. The stone landed firm in the giant’s head and he was defeated.

Not once did David waver in carrying out God’s plan. Was he afraid of the giant? Well, I’m sure cerebrally he was. Logically, he had to know that Goliath was a strong and powerful man. He, however was confident that God would protect him as He had done in the past and would continue to do in the future. He clearly believed that no harm would come to him as he rejected even protective clothing from the king.

Too often, I believe, we are told to prepare for the worst. We, as a society, are obsessed with locking our doors and setting our alarms. We expect bad things to happen, and we invite them to do just that with our expectations. I strongly believe that we cannot live without stress and anxiety until we remove the negative expectations from our minds.

Here are some baby steps you can take to keep negative expectations at bay:

Lighten the mood: Don’t listen to negative music, read negative books or watch negative movies. Media has a powerful influence over us. Turn off the news! Can you remember your mother worrying about you when you went into a big city or to a foreign country or even just another town? It was because she heard somewhere that someone got hurt doing just that thing! Try to keep in mind that bad things don’t come looking for you.

Take some time away from the gadgets! Why do you keep your phone on you at all times? In case of emergency! When you are home with your families, turn off the cel phones, don’t check your voicemails, ignore your emails at least for an hour a day.

Be sure to have some chunks of time in your week when time doesn’t matter. Take off your watch and don’t look at the clocks! Seriously, I am a very busy person, but I know how important it is to have quality timeless time.

Don’t worry so much about mistakes. Everyone makes them and without them how do we learn. “Learn from my mistakes” is another adage that I admit to having a problem with. It has been my experience that we can take notes from the lives of others, but we learn our most valuable lessons on our own.

Lastly, stay organized. I know that this is a stretch and I may be the first person ever to take this lesson out of the story of David and Goliath, but David wasn’t fumbling through his pockets looking for stones. Knowing where everything is when you need it will relieve a world of anxiety and stress.

So take a new, fresh look at the story of David and Goliath. Was it a miracle? Surely it was, but it was also about courage and a young man who didn’t sweat the small stuff or the big stuff, and of course, was very organized.

Happy Monday

Happy Monday everyone!

I often take time to talk about the importance of the right food but the right food is only one piece of the puzzle.  The path to good health is truly a strong mind, body and soul.  Take a moment and look at your foundation and then look into your heart, breakdown and rebuild if you have to, but do what you must do to create a strong foundation. Remember I often say, “Garbage in, garbage out”, that does not only pertain only to food my friends.

Wake up tomorrow morning with thoughts of thanksgiving, make it a point to avoid anything negative and be grateful for the positive things in your life.  Our world is tough right now, many people are unemployed.  If you are one of those fortunate people who is employed, be grateful for your circumstances, be a positive aspect in your workplace and be kind to your co-workers.

Look around  you each and every day, be grateful for where you are and pray for those who are unemployed, homeless or going hungry. Most importantly, look with your heart and not your eyes and be grateful for the blessings in your life.

I know this was a short one today, but I just wanted to remind you to recharge and be thankful for what you have and what you will have. Gratitude and the joy that accompanies it are as good for the body as they are for the soul!

 

Faith vs. Fear

All too often people find themselves feeling stuck. Stuck being unhealthy or overweight. Stuck in their career. Stuck in a rut in their relationship. The feeling of being stuck is just that. It’s a feeling that stems from a fear of moving forward. This past week I was fortunate enough to be in Greece doing several seminars and I encountered the same questions again and again regarding fear, anxiety, stress and how to deal with them. What I believe and what I offered up as my response was this and prepare yourself as it might take you by surprise: Faith and Fear are both intrinsically the same save one is positive and one is negative. They are both projections on the future and, I believe, they both bring about a reality. When crossed with a stressful situation do you chose faith or fear?

I suppose the true question then is “how does one make the decision between having faith and being afraid?” Train your mind! It is true that by nature human beings are fearful. However, I am of the opinion that once you give ground to any fear in your life you are opening the door to the possibility of exactly that fear coming to fruition. This being said, I make a conscious decision not to fear anything! Is that possible? Yes, I think so. Let me see if I can explain. Most people have a fear of death. The fear of death, is I suppose rational, but it seems to be the base fear that ushers in the rest. Am I suggesting that you shouldn’t fear death? Well… yes. I am. Because if you can, instead, believe that your life is in God’s control, you will be free to live a life completely devoid of fears. It is generally accepted in the medical profession that stress and anxiety lead to sickness. If you remove you base fear-fear of death and all the smaller less significant fears go with it, well it stands to reason you will live a healthier life. In order to train your mind to think this way you must keep faith in God’s control at the forefront of your mind. As it says in Psalm 27  Even if a war rages around me I will remain unafraid.

So, do I think that you can just wish things away? Well, if only it were that easy. No, my friends, God never promises an easy life. He does however promise to get us through the toughest times imaginable! He will never leave or forsake you! It is because He is in control that we can choose a life free of stress. Once you know that even the hardest times are in God’s control choosing faith is easy! It is just as easy to thing that you will be a success as it is to project failure. It is just as easy to choose happiness over sadness. It is just as easy to think that your children will thrive rather than get into to trouble. It is just as easy to believe that you will have a job though jobs are scarce. It is just as easy to believe that you will be in good health as it is to fear poor health. Health, as you see, does not come strictly from what foods we put into our bodies. No, health, balance, joy and success come from the thoughts we allow space for! Those thoughts in turn become words and those words in turn become actions. It is truly thoughts that most often start the chain reaction that eventually hinders us from achieving our potentials.

Having been asked several times in the past couple of weeks what my “secret” is got me thinking. I like to think that there are many parts of my life that keep me happy and balanced. But I know that it is first and foremost my faith. You will find in life that you give power to that which you turn your attention to. The attention you give positive potential rather than worst case scenarios will manifest itself by the same process that stress and fear manifest a positive outcome.

There is much that I want to do with my life. So much in fact that it’s a good thing I believe I am going to live a very long life! One thing I would like perhaps most of all is to help people remove stress and anxiety and all the baggage and negativity that accompany them from their lives completely. I hope that these thoughts I’ve jotted down truly do just that for you today!

So, what can make you happier, look younger, feel better, live longer, reach your potential, keep a strong relationship and live a life of excellence?  Choosing faith! Have no fear!

Compass of Life

Today is January 14th and most of us who have made resolutions might have already slipped.  Resolutions are interesting, they sometimes tend to cause stress and anxiety instead of providing hope and guidance.  Nevertheless, resolutions are serious though, so let’s treat them that way.  A good friend once told me, “It’s not a race”.  So what does this mean?  Baby steps my friends.  Diligence, perseverance and hard work are required to adhere to your resolutions.  It’s not a race so don’t try to lose 50 pounds in the month of January.  Don’t resolve to volunteer 50% of your time in the month of January.  On the contrary, let’s take baby steps.

• Resolve to eat healthier, you will certainly lose pounds.
• Resolve to drink less alcohol, you will certainly get healthier.
• Resolve to walk more, you will feel better.
• Resolve to eat sweets only on the weekends, you will certainly get healthier.
• Resolve to be kinder, you and everyone else will feel better.
• Resolve to volunteer one day or even one hour a week.
• Resolve to help everyone you can.
• Resolve to give to every needy person you run into, I promise you won’t go broke.
• Resolve to “Love Thy Neighbor”, sometimes it’s hard, but I promise we will feel better.
• Resolve to ask for forgiveness, as often as you can.
• Resolve to give your forgiveness, as often as you can.
• Resolve to teach you children about faith, provide them with the right foundation.
• Resolve to cut down on computer time and spend quality time with your children.
• Resolve to have your children watch less television, even if it’s a little less.
• Resolve to visit your parents more often.
• Resolve to reach out your hand to family and friends you need you.

Resolutions can sometimes be difficult to keep but perhaps if we look at life as if it is not a race, they might be a little easier to adhere to.  Baby steps my friends.  Perhaps instead of one major resolution you should make many small ones.  Making many small resolutions might set your compass of life in the right direction.  Actually, let me expand on this thought.  Take the time to do some soul searching.  Does your life consist of trouble, pain and stress?  Well then, God might be tapping you on the shoulder and advising you to change the direction of your compass.  Whether you choose to make one or 20 resolutions, perhaps think about making your own list and include your family.  How wonderful would that be?  Make a family list and get everyone involved.  This way everyone within the family can hold each other accountable.  That shall certainly further our resolve.  This year make sure that you are going in the right direction.  The resolutions you choose and your adherence to those resolutions will indeed provide you with much love, faith and hope.  A good friend once told me, “Make sure your compass is facing in the right direction”, so that is my wish for you this year.  My wish for your 2013 is that it is filled with love, faith and hope and that your compass is facing in the right direction.

Alleviate Anxiety and Stress

Most of us have bucket lists, which is a fantastic idea!  These lists I would venture to say, would most likely require 20 to 30 years to get through.  Am I right?  How many of you have on your bucket list, Hot Air Balloon Ride, Sky Diving, Learn How to Fly, See The Pyramids…and on and on and on?

A pastor suggested that you begin to live your life as if you only have 30 days to live it.  So now I would like to challenge you to look in the mirror today and ask yourself a serious question.  The question folks is, “What would I do over the next 30 days if that was all the time I had left in my life”?

Would you…

• Spend more time with your mother or father?
• Spend more time with your child?
• Be extra kind to the cashier at the supermarket?
• Smile at everyone you pass?
• Volunteer at a soup kitchen or hospital?
• Go to confession?
• Pray or maybe pray more?
• Call a friend or family member who you had a squabble with and say “I’m sorry”?
• Give more to charity?
• Lend a helping hand to someone you don’t even know, or someone you don’t even care for?

I’m sure folks that you understand the direction I am trying to lead you in.  So much angst, so much evil, so much cruelty; I suppose maybe we live as if we have all the time in the world.  And perhaps in our minds there will be ample time to “make up” for our mistakes.  Well, what if there wasn’t?  What if we lived our lives as if we had 30 days left?  What would our bucket list look like?  It is my humble opinion that your list might be different.  It is my humble opinion that you would make a new list.  What do  you say?  Interested?  Faith, positive attitude, calmness and serenity; I would venture to say that if for the next 30 days you live your life this way it is a given that you will alleviate certainly most of the anxiety, anger and fear that you might have and find your way to a calmer more positive life.

Well, quite frankly, it seems to me you have nothing to lose.  Nothing that is with the exception of the negative baggage you might carry around with you day to day.  So look in the mirror, put a smile on your face, greet everyone you meet with a kind word and make an appointment to see someone you haven’t seen in a while.

Come Join Us

An overwhelming number of you requested that I keep the title of my blog “A Poison Free World”.  I understand and realize that a poison free world is what we are trying to achieve therefore the blog name will not change.  I do like “Faith, Food and the Fountain of Youth” however.

I receive an enormous amount of e-mails on a daily basis from people looking for help on everything from cancer to beauty treatments.  I’ve decided to give people a forum to meet and ask their questions.  The meetings will be every Monday at 7:00 PM in Monmouth County, New Jersey.  I will talk about Faith, Food and the Fountain of Youth.  These meetings will sometimes be videotaped so that people outside of New Jersey can benefit from them.  We have many readers outside of the state of New Jersey and the only way we can share with them at the moment is through video.

If you live within driving distance of Monmouth County please feel free to come with as many friends and family members as you like.  The topics will vary from week to week, they will always be on Faith, Food and the Fountain of Youth.  Each week will be different however, some weeks will just be discussion, some weeks will be healthy cooking demonstrations and so on.  We will also have guest appearances by pastors and health professionals.  The week before I will always announce what next week’s subject will be.  Start thinking about the questions you have (they can be very serious and dramatic to just fun and folly).

Simply fill out the the form below, please make sure you fill out the number of people you will be bringing with you and join us on Monday evenings starting September 3rd.

The seminars are free but are limited to people over the age of 12.

Name

Address

Phone

E-mail

Company

Number of People In Your Party

That Made Me So Mad!

Well, I would really like to take some time to share some of what I’ve been struggling with lately. We all have different struggles, but I think most of us struggle with many of the same issues. I have had some of the best times and some of the worst times of my life in the last few years. I’m not sure if any of you can relate, but I sure do think that sometimes when you’re trying so hard to do something good and helpful there are likely some nearby with not your best interest at heart.

I found myself over the last several weeks dealing with a few people who had made me quite angry, I must admit. My standard answer to people problems is just to pray for anyone who initiates angry feelings in my heart. I would like to be candid with you, however. I struggled with that this past week. I continuously found myself angry and questioning how I would relate to specific situations in the upcoming weeks.

I have decided to share the input I received over the last week. It might help you as much as it has helped me. Last week I was having a very deep and intense conversation with my cousin in which I commented on how extraordinary it is that when one is trying especially hard to do good they are often confronted with snakes in their midst. He said something so profound that I found myself pondering it even later. He said, “Many of us have snakes around us, but we are living right as long as we don’t behave like rats.” Wow! This kind of puts it in perspective, doesn’t it? I thought about this for days but still I admit I struggled.

On Sunday morning, I found myself on my knees asking God to guide me and help me to deal with anger so that it did not make me bitter. Then, I went to church and realized that God always finds a way to answer your prayers. Pastor Qwynn gave such a powerful sermon on, you guessed it, dealing with people even when we’re angry. Strange, huh? Not so much really because this is exactly how God works. Back to the message, though. This is what was so important about what I walked away with from church yesterday. It is absolutely normal to feel anger. It’s how we deal with it however, that determines our character. You see, what I was reminded of yesterday was that we will of course get angry, but we must always maintain integrity and honor. The point is, you can confront an individual who has made you angry, but always come from a place of truth and demonstrate with your words that they have hurt you. Then you can explain that while they are not to behave in the same way again, you will still forgive them. This folks, is dealing with anger in bad situations with love in your heart (which is ever so difficult), but as I was reminded yesterday God may get angry at us, but he does forgive us, doesn’t he? As Pastor Qwynn so eloquently stated, “You must deal with all people through love and honor on this level in order to get to the next level.”

Unconditional Love

Well I received this comment last evening that surely warmed my heart.  The comment was so special to me and the analogy used within the comment so great, I felt the need to share it with all of you.  Sometimes I share a comment with all of you because I have been told that many people simply can not get to the comments at work.

To the gentleman who wrote the comment…thank you kind sir, your words are much appreciated.

“What a great story of how God can give us, his children, such great rewards, not the trip so much (although that was icing on the cake so to speak) but the chance to see his Love shining on you, but what I really find as inspiring is the fact that you knew (and know) that even if the flight did not go the Love was not any bit less that was shining on you, it was just a different path He might want you to go on.  Recognizing that path is the hard part just like you said but also letting go of the “I want” or “Me” attitude and filling your heart with trust.  Have you ever watched a little child stand at the edge of a pool, eyes filled with wonder and fear, as a parent encourages them to jump for the very first time. You see the trust in that little child and there they go, knowing with unconditional love and trust that the parent is going to take care of them, well that is all God wants from us really, we just need to remember it and let ourselves be his children.  Thanks for this great message and as always I look forward to your next one!  Have a great day!”

Sandals in the Snow

Several years ago a girlfriend and I had booked a trip to Miami.  A couple of days before our trip the weather report called for a severe snow storm.  The day before news reports were stating that airports would most likely be shut down the next day (the day we were flying).  My girlfriend called and asked me what we should do.  I said emphatically that we should pay no mind to the news or the weather reports, pack our bags and get to the airport the next morning.  She again called me later that night and said, “Vicky are you sure?  The snow has already started and they are expecting it to be really bad.  I really don’t think our flight will get out.”  I insisted however, in fact the very next morning I was quite a sight.  My girlfriend was in stitches, laughing hysterically when she first saw me.  I was in a sun dress and sandals trying to get through the snow as we plowed our way from the car to the airport doors.  She stated I looked hilarious walking in the snow with sandals on my feet.  I simply stated, “That there was no question in my mind that I would be basking in the sun in a matter of hours”.

My friends I kid you not, we walked into the airport; now because of my sight I could not see the flight information screen but my girlfriend looked up and gasped.  I am completely and utterly serious, she looked at me and between giggles informed me that every flight on the screen was cancelled with the exception of ours.  The airport terminal was empty, I assumed everyone thought their flight would be cancelled so it was a breeze getting through security and to the counter.  In fact when we got to the counter the flight attendant insisted we must be a couple of the luckiest people in the world since we were among the very few getting on the flight out of Newark, NJ.  We were in Miami within hours basking in the sun of course.

Some of  you are thinking wow, what a positive attitude.  I say it goes way beyond that my friends.  I live my life each and every day expecting the favor of God.  I thought about this story in the last couple of weeks because of a sermon I heard Pastor Trevon give on the favor of God.  What he spoke about in church made me think about my own life.  I do truly live my life expecting the favor of God.  How can I explain this?  In other words it did not occur to me for one second to cancel my plans.  That being said I must also share with you, had I gotten to the airport and found that my flight had in fact been cancelled I would simply assume it would not be a good day for me to travel.  Do you see how the favor of God works?  If you are open to the favor of God you will most certainly receive it.  Once you receive it, might I also share with you, take the time to recognize his favor.  So what would I personally like to share with all of your about the favor of God?  It is as easy as it is miraculous.  Expect the favor of God, receive it and then most of all my friends; recognize it.